Why Do I Have So Many Names?

In many traditions, names speak to more than just a title. They speak to the essence of your spirit.

I was given the name Blake as a way to hide my identity on job applications. My mother didn’t want me to be discriminated against for being Black and female. She also wanted me to carry a piece of her. My mother’s last name is Blakey. Patriarchy gives a child their father’s last name, but my first name is my mother’s.

Kaya was given to me in an African rite of passage. It means “never go back.” It’s a spiritual name. If you knew my life, you’d know how I kept repeating the same cycles—self-sabotage, toxic relationships, emotional patterns that buried me. I’ve lived through assault. I was molested at the age of five. I’ve battled eating disorders, substance abuse, rape, and depression.

The spiritual calling of the name Kaya commands me to liberate myself. To move forward. To transform. It’s a name rooted in wisdom. In direction.

Kaya comes with a surname: Kufanya Tena, which means “you might have to do it again.”

Yes.

Never go back.

You might have to do it again.

The juxtaposition of the two is wild—but honest. It speaks to the confusion of my past and the questions of my future.

How can I never go back… but also do it again?

Never go back speaks to my old ways of coping. Sex. Alcohol. Food. Anger.

Doing it again speaks to the discipline it takes to transform.

Healing isn’t a one-time decision. You fall short. You take inventory. You repeat.

Then there’s BiggMoneyyGripp.

That one came from my family. In my family, when someone’s shining—looking good, standing tall, walking in their blessing—we affirm each other with “Ok big money! I see you, Big Money Gripp!”

I needed a boost in the gym. Mentally. I needed to see myself lit, powerful, rising. So I renamed myself. To remind myself that no matter what it looks like, I’m still shining. I’m in an era where I’ve done the work. I do the work. I know my calling. I’m ready to serve.

What’s your name?

What do they call you?

And why?

Does it speak to your identity, your journey, your survival?

Does it bring up old wounds?

Maybe it’s time to add another name.

Or maybe it’s time to find the purpose behind the one you’ve got.